J) THE EDDA (WAITING PERIOD) OF MUSLIM WIDOWS (FEMALES)

Upon hearing the news of the death of her husband, a Muslim wife should be steadfast and patient. Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H) said : " Patience (Endurance ) is to be present from the first shock " (Muslim).

Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H) said : " Allah says: I have no better reward than Paradise for a believer servant of Mine who is patient and resigned when I take away one of his/her beloved, one among those he/she most cherishes in the world " (Bukhari).

She should accept all that Allah plans for her and her family with sincerity and patience, as Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H) said : " When a person suffers from some calamity and supplicates: ‘ Inna lil-la-he wa inna ilay he ra je oon’,‘ to Allah we belong and to Allah shall we return’, O Allah make good the loss in this calamity, and grant me something good, Allah then compensates him/her for the loss, and give a better substitute" (Muslim).

It is prohibited to express grief by wailing, shrieking, beating the chest or cheeks, tearing hair or clothes, or saying phrases that makes a Muslim lose faith.

Um Atiyyah reports : " The Messenger of Allah made us pledge that we will not wail over the dead"(Bukhari & Muslim). {see page 8,9}.

Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H) said : " I detest a woman who cries out very loudly, or shaves her hair, or tears her clothes when a beloved one dies "(Bukhari & Muslim).

She may cry, as the Prophet did when his son died. He said :" The eyes are shedding tears and the heart is grieved, and we will not say except what pleases our Lord" (Bukhari).

Allah in the Quran prescribed the Edda (Waiting period) for those wives whose husbands die : " And those of you who die and leave wives behind them, they (The wives) shall wait for four months and ten days "(Quran 2:234).

Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H) said in an authentic Hadith : "It is prohibited for a woman who believes in Allah and the day of judgment to mourn a dead person more than three days except her husband, in which case it is four months and ten days" (Bukhari).

Edda is prescribed for widows in order to mourn the death of their husbands, observe their memory, fulfill any obligations toward them, and to see if the widow is pregnant or not.

In the following authentic Hadith, Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H) explains the way that she should conduct herself during this time.

Um Atiyyah reported that the Messenger of Allah said : "A woman should not mourn for any deceased person for more than three days, except in the case of her husband’s death, which she may mourn for a period of four months and ten days. Such a woman in mourning is not to wear any fancy, bright clothes, but only plain clothes, not use any adornment or make-up, nor use perfume, nor die her hands or feet with Henna " (Bukhari & Muslim).

If the widow is pregnant, then her waiting period ends when she delivers her baby, according to Allah’s command in the Quran : " And for those who are pregnant, their Edda is until they deliver " (Quran 65:4).

So a widow during the Edda should:

1. Stay in her home and only leave when it is necessary.
2. Sleep in her home.
3. Not wear fancy, bright clothes.
4. Not wear jewelry.
5. Not use makeup including eyeliners (kohol).
6. Not use perfume.